The Expat’s Guide to Defining Success Part 4
This is the fourth and final post in my “Defining Success as an Expat” series. I’ll definitely address this subject in the future but this will wrap up this series of posts. In part 1, I talked about what it means to define success. In part 2, I shared ways to set goals as an expat, and in part 3 I talked more about defining success in your current season of life. In this post I’m going to address how to set specific goals. Once you know where you want to go you can figure out a plan for how to get there!
I know this comes naturally to some people and I feel a bit sheepish that I’m not better at this by this point in my life, but better late than never right? I often feel overwhelmed when it comes to breaking down the big picture into manageable steps so I have to take it one step at a time.
Let’s go back to Post 2 for a moment. Look at your answers to the questions in Part 2 or your vision board.
Now divide each of those things into the follow areas:
Relationships (marriage, parenting, family, friends)
Physical health
Emotional and mental health
Spirituality
Physical environment
Professional
Hobbies and fun
1-Based on your score of how happy you were in each area, pick 2 areas (1 with a high score that you want to keep improving, and 1 with a lower score that needs to improve to more urgently).
For example, physical fitness (happy with my progress) and professional (feeling stuck and wanting to get out of a rut, thus these posts!).
2-Make 2 columns with each target at the top. Now in each column list what it would look like to improve, what is working, what is not working for each situation.
For example, under physical fitness I will list what is working for me (working to complete specific fitness programs with a group for accountability, having a scheduled time in my daily routine to work out, getting my exercise clothes ready the night before and laying them out, cleaning up my workout space the night before) what I would like to improve (continued consistency, working out for longer times, building in dance workouts), what isn’t working for each situation (sometimes I skip a workout then get out of my routine and it takes time to get back into regular exercise, needed new equipment).
3-Now list specific things to change so you can move forward to that vision/goal/dream.
For example, in physical fitness I will continue to focus on a specific workout program, I will continue to be part of an accountability group, I will save a certain amount of money per month to buy heavier dumbbells, If I consistently track my food for 2 months I will buy myself a reward of new workout clothes. Etc.
Now for the hard part. Take the weaker category that needs immediate improvement and do the same thing. Go back to each of the questions above and make your list.
This can feel very emotional since its an area that needs improvement and you may have already tried to move forward without success, you can feel overwhelmed with where to start, or you can be very self-critical of where you are in that area of life. Take your time with this one, focus on putting one foot in front of the other.
When you’ve done that, break it down even more into small goals and tasks that are time specific, starting with the largest amount of time:
Yearly
Quarterly (every 3 months)
Monthly
Weekly
Daily
The more specific and clear with your tasks, the better.
If the yearly and quarterly time frame is too overwhelming just start with a smaller period, monthly or weekly. The longer term goals will emerge as you move forward. We don’t always have to have a super long term goal in order to make progress and I think this mindset can sometimes keep us stuck. As an “in the moment” person, thinking of where I want to be in 5 years makes me feel paralyzed because its just too much for me to visualize.
This is YOUR exercise, make this work for you. Remember, personal success is defined by you and that includes the process of getting there.
The most important thing about this exercise to create momentum and forward movement, you can reevaluate the long term goals later.
After you’ve made those lists you can go through your other categories and repeat the process. Take what’s working for you and see if you can apply that mindset and those habits to the areas that need improvement.
If you’re like me and move around alot this is something that needs to be revisited often. Its really hard to know where I want to be in 5 years when I truly don’t even know where I’ll be in 5 years! And yet, moving around a lot sometimes can feel like a holding pattern. I need to be really intentional about what I want things to look like in my life and in my future life and its definitely a lifelong process.
I would love to know if this was helpful for you in some way. Please leave a comment or shoot me a message to let me know one takeaway from this post!