I’ve decided to theme Mondays post as Mindset Monday’s. I am a social worker and therapist after all! This will be a lot about what I’m processing and sharing my own journey towards emotional and mental health.
So on to the task at hand: How to be a good loser. I’ve recently participated in several pinup pageants and haven’t won or placed in any of them. I’m still new and learning the ropes but the last one I really felt I had a chance. The competition was fierce, apparently close to 200 ladies applied to the contest and only 12 were accepted so to be on that stage was quite an accomplishment in and of itself! It’s always disappointing to have invested time and money into preparing for the contest and bringing your best and not to win.
When I enter a contest I’m there to a-learn and gain experience b-have fun c-make friends d- win. Even if I lose a contest I’ve still gained quite a lot from the experience and try to take a look at the things I can improve for next time. I’ve seen people lose with grace and poise and congratulate the winners with authenticity. I’ve also seen people lose and cry and complain openly so that others can see them. Here’s my process after losing a contest.
1-The disappointment is real. Allow it be there without self judgement. The bigger the contest and the more time and money you have invested, perhaps the bigger the feelings of loss. You may be feeling that the situation injust, but don’t show your frustration or anger in the moment.
2-The moment the winner is announced, smile and cheer them on! You would want people to do that for you if you won, and there’s a reason the judges chose that person so accept it for what it is.
3-When the contest is over, congratulate the winners again. Say thank you to the hosts. Tell the other contestants they did a great job and say goodbye. Thank the hosts and judges on social media and congratulate the winners again. Thank the sponsors publicly and interact with folks involved with the show.
4- Cry and vent and process with a trusted friend privately. Don’t gossip about others or slam the judges or organizers, especially not publicly or on social media!
5- After a day or two and you have some emotional distance, assess the pageant and think about what you can apply to the next contest. What did you learn about competing? What did you learn about yourself? What did you do well? What did you struggle with? What would you like to change for next time?
5- Get back out there and apply for another pageant! Don’t get discouraged and give up, if you still want to do pageants then do another pageant!!!
And just one more note on friendliness. When you enter a pageant, even if you’re not an extrovert, even if you’re nervous and feeling out of place, choose to introduce yourself to people. Be friendly, be interested in getting to know the other contestants and judges a little. If you have friends in the contest don’t just stick with them in a clique, welcome in others as well. Everyone has been brave enough to participate in a pageant and that should be celebrated by everyone! It’s the worst feeling when you enter a pageant check in area not knowing anyone and feeling a little out of place.